In the last post we learned that there are essentially four types of punishments: Denials, Tasks, Humiliation and Physical. We spoke a bit about the first two. Initially my thought was to cover both of the latter two in this submission. Once I got into it however, I realized that both humiliation and physical punishments are worthy of their own treatment. Physical punishments will be covered in a subsequent offering.
Humiliation, for many women, is the most difficult punishment to understand and do. I will attempt to simplify it here, but in the end, you may just have to observe for yourself how effective this tool can be and come to believe in it through your own experience. Understanding it is often challenging because although the contemporary thinking is that there are few differences between men and women, our own experience tells us otherwise. Typically, the macho aspects of being a man, the traditional roles and expectations that still drive much of social interaction, dictate that a man not acquiesce, that he appears strong. In a phrase, submitting to another or even accepting being humbled is "unmanly". This goes to the core of what it means to be a man, and more particularly to his understanding of your expectations of him. Changing that up is hard for you to do and a challenge for him to accept (even though he introduced the idea!). Adding to that the fact that this tool is often most effectively used in the presence of others creates a new dimension (which you will find can also be a help!) That said, it is one of the most powerful demonstrations of the new dynamic you are trying to create and can bring about exhilarating emotions and closeness.
However daunting or initially awkward using humiliation is at first, it CAN be eased into and once started, tends to take off. Many women say it is this punishment that they had the hardest time imagining themselves using at the outset, but quickly transitioned into with surprising ease. Below are some suggestions about how low-level humiliations will help you get the ball rolling:
The hard-wired instinct and long-established social practice of men not standing for disrespect, particularly in public, makes even subtle examples of it meaningful. Think of all the times where in your mind, you disagreed with your man in a public setting or a private setting where others were present but you bit your tongue and said nothing. Think of how frequently you back-burnered your own wishes in front of others out of deference to him as the man. A great way to begin using humiliation is to be more vocally assertive in front of others. When you find yourself being tempted to acquiesce so as not to create the appearance of a conflict, press on. I believe if you observe other couples in conversation, you will generally find that women typically relinquish the floor if a man begins to talk. There might be a brief moment where both men and women are trying to speak, but nine times out of ten it is the woman who relents, yielding to him. Reflect on your own experience in this regard and you will likely see that you do so as well. You can create opportunities to change this up, and it is a perfect way of easing into humiliation. Most men will only press on if they are confident that others around them will relent and let them speak. It is a source of embarrassment for men to have someone press on and speak over them. As a result, they will choose to relent if you hold your ground and they will most often stop speaking. Make it easy on yourself the first few times you dabble in this by having him join you in a social setting where you are more familiar with those in attendance. For example, a work party where those present are people you know well but he does not. Consider having the girls over for a social event and then engage in "girl talk" right in front of him. Here are some other ways this same basic strategy can be employed:
Beat him to the punch. Whether at Starbucks, a restaurant, or other setting, order for him before he gets a chance to.
Make decisions without consulting him. Arguing with you is something he will only do if he thinks he will win or your will give in. He will not risk being overrun in front of others.
In social settings, speak about him as if he is not there. Share some low-level things (initially) that he might find embarrassing.
Tip: If he calls you on this later, DO NOT ENGAGE on it. Simply say, "You asked for this and I am not going to talk about it. If he continues to try to talk about it, just leave for a while, make a phone call, or otherwise occupy yourself so he cannot do so.
Here are some other fun ideas you can entertain as you explore the powerful strategy of humiliation:
Send him to the store to buy feminine products for you. Make him purchase JUST that so he canít hide them among other purchases.
Go to a drug store and select a female clerk or pharmacist of your choosing, then direct him to go ask where the condoms area. To really embarrass him, make him ask if they have smaller sizes.
Even if neither of you are into sissification, make him go into a lingerie store, or the ladies department of a store at the mall and buy panties. Make sure the size matches his waist so it is clear who they are for. Make him ask for directions to the area where he can find his size.
Take him out in public and make him drink until he has to pee terribly. Donít let him do so and watch him squirm. If you are really feeling like pressing, make him wait until he has a small accident. It wonít hurt to make him have to hide a small wet spot as he heads to the bathroom, and he will take your more seriously next time knowing the possibility exists of you making him wait even longer later.
Have your girlfriends over for a small gathering. Get a little buzzed yourself and begin ordering him around a bit in front of them. They never need to know what is behind it. Better still, when he leaves the room, comment to them that you love getting him to wait on you. Encourage them to ask him to do things as well, such as topping off their glass. This can become a runaway train and sooo fun.
Convince him to let you play with his ass. If you have to initially, just surprise him by doing so the first time while you go down on him. Donít stop until he cums. Later tease him about how much he obviously liked it.
Walk around without bottoms on and watch how he canít take his eyes off your ass. Do it initially as if you are just changing, or are fresh out of the shower. Make him kiss your ass. Start on your cheeks and progress to him kissing you deep. Tease him about what an ass man he is.
Randomly touch yourself and put your scent on him. Put it on his wrist, on his neck, under his nose. Donít let him wash and send him out like that.
Make him cum quickly, then tease him about it later. If you are involved with someone else, tell him how much longer your lover lasts. Make him cum in his pants if you can, then donít let him change.
Make him go down on you after he cums. Make him cum on you, then clean it up with his tongue. Get in the habit of making him eat his own cum (this is difficult at first but you should get to where it is a requirement every time he cums. Of course, tease him about this later.
Make him purchase a butt plug for himself. Make him pick it. Tell him if it is not big enough you will begin to make the selections and he will not like it. Make him work with it until he can insert it comfortably. Make him display it for you once in. Later you can tease him about it. We will talk more about this powerful accessory later.
Make him buy you a strapon. You donít even have to use it initially; just the mere fact that you made him buy it will be difficult and on his mind, always wondering.
We will revisit humilations in more depth in a future post. Whether you are using denials, tasks, humiliations, or physical punishments; you should make a list of those things you have thought of or used. Make some notes of what worked well. Doing so will make it much easier to come up with an appropriate response quickly if one does not come to mind when needed.
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