I've been in a relationship with my wonderful girlfriend for a little more than 2 years. I'm 34 and she's 29. I had only a couple of relationships before her and I have to admit that I did feel a bit insecure when we started dating because of her strong and outgoing personality.
She was also much more sexually experienced than I am. It was obvious from the first time we slept together that she knows her ways and can take control in bed. I kinda felt insecure and jealous a bit in the beginning but she's also wonderful, romantic, and very loving. She's been with the wrong crowed before but now she's matured and wants a more stable life, at least according to her words.
Apparently she's carried a baggage of kinks and high sexual appetite from her hot past with her ex's. This kinda made me jealous and insecure around her at first but as time passed I just couldn't resist her wonderful character and learned to accept that there's nothing I can do about it and that past is past.
I have foolishly tried to express my jealousy sometimes when I see her dressed a bit overly revealing or if she smiled at someone hitting on her. I'm afraid my attempts always failed as she'd either tell me to get rid of my insecurities and have more trust in her or if the circumstances allow, she'd reach down to my cock and give it a quick squeeze with her hand while looking at me and saying something along the lines of "So you don't like my outfit, huh?" in all seriousness, she'd continue squeezing it and tells me how she doesn't like others telling her what to do. And then asks again if I like her outfit, and if I say yes she squeezes me harder and asks how much I like it. At this point I'd be totally crazy just wishing to fuck her right there. She then stops and just tells me she'd let me fuck her in it when we get home!
That's pretty much how we end any argument. I could never win with her, but she's amazing otherwise so I cannot complain.
She also introduced me to some kinky stuff I never thought I'd go for, like one time she was sucking my cock, I was getting close when I felt her finger penetrating me! I panicked for a second but she kept eye contact with me. Had this serious look on her face. I tried to move back but she pushed her finger deeper, arched it inside me and started massaging my prostate! I was like breathlessly saying what are you doing when she totally ignored my words and looked into my eyes and said "Cum now!". At this moment I totally lost it and exploded in her mouth and on her lips!
It was the best orgasm I've ever had! She swallowed it then crawled up to me and said "You liked it, didn't you?" and again before I respond she just kissed me. Pushed her tongue in my mouth, I could taste my cum on her tongue and lips, she made me lick them clean, continued kissing me while her hand started jerking me off again! Normally I would freak out or feel disgusted but after a couple of minutes I found myself getting rock hard again. She them smiled a victorious smile and just slid my cock inside her and continued kissing me as we fucked so passionately like I never done before!
Since that night something changed in me, I began thinking about her in a different light, having thoughts about what her ex's did to her, how they fucked her, how she swallowed their cum. I started jerking off on those thoughts or thinking about them when we have sex. It's both tormenting and pleasurable I cannot explain!
Fast forward a couple of weeks ago, I kinda hinted to those fantasies when I asked her about her past during sex, she didn't react negatively, in fact she teased me and turned me on more about the idea but after we fucked she told me that she'd never fuck anyone else and that she loves me very much so I better not hope for that. But she's incorporating these fantasies into our foreplay and roleplay and our sex lives is 10 times hotter now but the more we do the weirder and kinkier thoughts I have about her!
I cannot stop thinking about it. I want it to happen for real but yet I don't because I don't wanna lose her.