I guess I am more into the "hot wife" lifestyle. Reason being that I enjoy when my wife has good sex with someone else, but I don't enjoy being belittled.
Anyway, alot of parallels here. I fought my fetish for a long time. Kept it a secret from the majority of girls I have dated in the past. I remember the first girl I really cared about... I actively knew she was cheating. I felt so conflicted about it. It really hurt but at the same time it turned me on so fucking much. Eventually I came to realize, it wasn't the cheating that hurt. It was the lying. I eventually came forward to her with my fetish in hopes she would see, that she could continue her sexual escapades while being honest. Totally backfired. She acted like I was a weirdo/pervert and never admitted to the cheating.
Didn't bring it up to any woman for a LONG time after we broke up.
Next person I brought it up to was after 2 or so years of dating. She agreed to try it out with me, very hesitantly, but it never materialized, as our relationship was on the down hill slope.
Then I met my wife. Didn't actually bring it up to her until a couple years into our relationship. That night my wife seemed completely into it. We had crazy massive role play sex. The next day she insisted she wanted to keep it to role play. And that's how we remained for a couple years. Occasionally I would try and push her to try it in reality, that would always backfire and she wouldn't even want to role play it for a couple weeks.
Then one random day, I am on this business trip, very far from where I live. And I start getting texts from my wife, asking if I am sure I want her to go through with this. I tell her yes. She then tells me that she is at a bar and bumped into an old friend (someone she hadn't seen since pre marriage). This old friend, she always knew wanted to have sex with her, but she had always been in relationships. I tell her to go for it.
About an hour went by, and then I just get a picture of a dick in her mouth. I was SO turned on by it. Got a few more pictures of her being fucked (either selfies taken by her, or ones he took). Come to find out, he used to be into the cuckold lifestyle with HIS ex, he would love watching her get fucked. That came as a surprise, as he is a tall, very well built muscular guy (I am an average skinny guy, average size dick, etc).
More recently I had asked my wife if she is into any of my friends (out of curiosity). She said only one guy, a very good friend of mine. I told her to try and fuck him one day (I am VERY secure with my wife, no fear that she will leave me). I eventually brought this up to him over beers one night, and he said he was totally down to give this a whirl. Well my doctor recently changed up my medication (I have a long term condition, we will leave it at that) and neglected to tell me that the medication, when mixed with alcohol, causes extreme drowsiness.
We all met up for breakfast with mimosas. Got back to my house, and I was out cold. Woke up HOURS later in my bedroom, and it's now night time. I am alone in bed. I get up to go see if she's in the living room, and then I just hear the loudest moan. Walked into the living room, she is bent over the couch, moaning on his cock. Biggest turn on ever (and holy shit my friend is hung, didn't expect that).
We've done it again a couple times since (we generally arrange to see my friend once a month) and have been loving it. For us, it makes our relationship stronger, and has actually eliminated any insecurities I had. One big bonus, is that she can be honest with me, with no fear of it starting a fight or anything of the sort, so I don't fear her lying. She likes it too as our relationship is now the farthest thing from "controlling".
Hope this is good enough for the blog!
Oh yes, I wanted to mention that I did at times try fighting it, and it never went away. Mostly when I was younger that is. I was very ashamed of my fetish, and thought I was wired wrong. Tried fighting it for years. And as I said, it NEVER goes away. My best decision of my life was embracing it, and finding a partner I could securely embrace it with.
MP & S