My wife just played with her 10th guy over the weekend since she started being a hotwife/vixen around a year and a half ago. I've never really written the whole thing out before and I thought it would be fun to summarize everything. I'm going to put a lot of detail into this and it will probably be boring but I thought some people might find it interesting.
I've had fantasies of cuckold stuff for a long time and didn't tell my wife about it early on when we were first dating. She had two serious boyfriends before meeting me and those were her only previous sex partners, I was a virgin before meeting her. It was always hot when she talked about her previous boyfriends and eventually I told her that I found the idea of her fucking other guys hot. It took a while though for that to actually lead to her playing with anyone though.
My wife has always had a high sex drive. She does not like to attract a lot of attention from guys in her everyday life and until meeting me didn't know that guys were interested in her. I always told her that if she posted herself online she would have a lot of messages and get a lot of compliments. That eventually led to her webcamming on dating sites for fun, and for a while she got pretty into it.
She has always liked massages and gets a professional massage about once a month. Especially during that time her favorite style of porn to watch was massage porn, where a male masseuse would massage a nude female customer and progressively get more "dirty" until it ended with him fucking her. She talked a lot about fantasizing about a man doing this to her, and I often told her that she could easily post online for someone to do it. At some point she asked if I was really serious, and I said I was.
She posted on this dating site looking for someone to give her a sexy massage. For STI reasons we both agreed that she would not do things that would be risk for transmitting anything, which we still have as a rule, which limited things to mostly just getting a massage, having her tits played with and sucked, giving a handjob, getting titfucked, and making the guy cum on her tits. At first she was hesitant about promising too much, so all she really guaranteed was the nude massage. But in practice if she is comfortable getting naked for someone, she is comfortable with the other things within her limits.
She ended up meeting with three different guys from those kinds of posts on the site after a few months with varying success. Each time we rented out a hotel room, set up a massage table, and invited a guy to give her a sexy massage. For those meetups I was always present in the room and enjoyed watching and masturbating. I only joined in once, when she gave both me and the other guy a handjob at the same time. We both always liked it but sometimes the other guy seemed too nervous or wasn't fully into it, and the guy's personality wasn't always a good match for us. None of the meetups led to her meeting with the same guy more than once. None of them flaked and didn't show up either though, which has happened several times since then.
Around that time we both agreed that the ideal thing would be for her to meet someone she was more compatible with on a personal level and could have kind of a friend with benefits situation, with the benefits at least starting within our limits. We started going to local events within the fetish/swinger/poly community which neither of us had much prior experience with. She met a guy at one of those events who became a regular play partner, hanging out with us at events and coming over to our place to play with her while I watched. We joined a small kink friends group that hosted play parties around that time and invited him to join. That eventually led to him hooking up with one of the women from that group and going exclusive with her, which ended the regular play partner thing.
We also met up with a married couple from that group which is the only couple we played with. I personally don't like playing with other people unless they are very enthusiastic about it, and I'm not bi. So my involvement was mainly playing with my wife rather than the couple. My wife did take a strap-on while she gave me a blowjob which was a lot of fun. Another time we met some friends from that group at a swinger club and she ended up playing with me and two other random guys in the same room.
We learned a lot over that time period and figured out more of what we both like. I had always told my wife that she seemed naturally submissive but she never really identified that way. But when we started hanging out with the kinky crowd and she tried rope and flogging and whatnot she finally realized she wasn't as "vanilla" as she thought she was. I also ended up liking being a Dom, and we started adding more D/s stuff into our everyday life like her having to ask me for permission to orgasm and having her wear a collar for our sex sessions. Although humiliation play can be fun sometimes for me, all of our in person play has not involved that and I like having the Dom role, so we realized the Stag/Vixen terms tend to work well in describing our situation to people.
After that we started looking back on the dating site for more guys for her to play with. We have used various other methods but sex dating site profiles have worked the most consistently for us. Even with that we have gotten our share of flakes, people who sound great but then ghost when it comes to meeting up, people who agree to meetup and then suddenly are busy all the time, and worst a few people who just didn't show up to the initial meetup after it was confirmed. I think it's a mix of people who are genuinely terrified of actually meeting a woman and going through with it, people who are cheating and don't have a good way to sneak away for the meetup (we don't play with married guys but they aren't always honest with us), and people who lie about wanting to meet up at all and are just looking for online sexting or pic collecting. At this point with new people we have a zero tolerance policy, if we ask for a meetup early on and it doesn't end up happening, we move on to someone else.
The next two guys she met from the site both ended up being people she went out with multiple times. Before she was afraid to call the meetups "dates", and they didn't feel like it most of the time either because usually I was there for both the initial make sure there is chemistry meeting and the play meetup in private. At this point I had decided that I definitely didn't need to be there for the public meeting, both me and the other guy tended to be uncomfortable with me as a third wheel right away. I also decided I didn't have to be there for play either, with the right guy who would be into that it's great, but especially if I get pics and updates from the meeting it's still fun without me being there. In one of our hotel meetups I left the room at one point to let them play by themselves, and it seemed like a good way for them to get comfortable together. So I encouraged her to meet guys on her own and get to know them with more traditional dates.
One guy she met on her own led to an unexpectedly eventful first date, they went to see a movie and she gave him a handjob to completion in the back row of the theater during it. She isn't actually that into public play so she doesn't think she would do that again, but it was a lot of fun for her at the time as a spur of the moment naughty thing to try. She met up with him a few more times after that at his place for some "Netflix and chill" stuff. He's not the type who would want me there and doesn't like going out much, which is part of the reason she stopped meeting with him after the first few.
The other guy was one of the best ones we have found for the friend with benefits vibe. He met her alone once, then joined us for some play at a kink club. He is from our area but lives halfway across the country though and is only in town to visit family periodically.
This past weekend we left town for a vanilla event in a hotel for the weekend and thought it would be a good opportunity to look for a one-time hookup for her. She tried an app, which she is usually too paranoid to use because the fact that she plays with other guys is not public and some of our vanilla friends and family use it. She got a lot of matches even at the same hotel complex but none of them were willing to meet up to get a no strings handjob and tit fuck. She also tried other methods but not enough nearby people were on those. As usual the sex dating site was the successful one she tried, and she met up with a guy who was really into fingering her who jerked off onto her tits.
Overall the logistics of it are a lot of work and she still hasn't found her ideal friend and regular play partner. But it has been a lot of fun for both of us and we have tried a lot of new things over the last year and a half. Our sex life has never been bad but it has definitely improved now that we have explored more things and communicated more about what we want. Hopefully this is just the start of our Vixen/Stag relationship and it will lead to even hotter adventures in the future.
Dani and Kay