So, I'm a passive reader here and just felt like I needed to get this out.
I'm 25 years old and married and have always had a cuckold fetish and my wife has been aware of it. But early on in our marriage we had issues and at some point she felt unwanted. Partly due to me being in the military and always gone or being extremely tired. So during this time we were having issues, I had to go away for a couple of months and she had to go back home.
While she was there, one night in particular we were talking dirty on the phone and she told me she was going out with her friends. I told her to "have fun" and she questioned me about what that meant. So I told her to just enjoy herself and have a good time and to "rub up on whoever she feels like when dancing." At this point she was already a bit pre-gamed and was like "Okay sure!".
Throughout the night I'm texting her hoping she's being extra flirty and what not and grinding on guys and she tells me she is. Then at some point she tells me one of her friends is really grinding on her and she thinks he wants her. I ask her "how do you know that?" And she says because she can feel him grinding his dick into her fucking hard.
At this point I'm extremely turned on and telling her she should let him fuck her and she's questioning me like am I serious, to which I tell her I am. I don't really get anymore texts after that but the last text she sent was that since all of her friends met up at the club and they left in the car, they had to make space and she ended sitting on his lap. She also said he was holding her by the waist.
The next day I ask her about it and she says nothing happened but that she was bothered about my cuckold fetish and wanting her to get fucked. Eventually it became a problem between us that we ended up fixing. So one day about a year later when our marriage is at a great place, she breaks down and says she's been feeling guilty because she slept with him. Before that point I had over heard her saying she kissed the guy on the phone but I never thought she slept with him.
I guess at that point the fantasy of cuckolding really didn't live up to what I thought it would be, because we ended up in a really bad fight about it. But, somehow while we were fighting I tried to tell her it's okay, but then she tells me, "You don't understand, I didn't just sleep with him once, it happened like five or six times." And while I was really pissed off, I tried to still forgive her but she kept going into detail because she felt like she needed to be completely honest with me about everything and she went into some details.
Now at the time I was pissed off, I still also had a super hard on and couldn't process it at that moment. She talked about how he was telling her he wanted her all night and how he was feeling her up on the dance floor and even managed to pull his dick out in the car and rub it against her. She told me about how she stayed at her mom's place during my exercise that he stayed over and she fucked him not only once but three times raw and he nutted in her. She told me she enjoyed it because of that new relationship energy but that she also felt guilty and didn't enjoy it as much as when she has sex with me.
So whatever, I'm pissed off about it and we had her issues that we fixed but I never stopped thinking about it. The real reason was because I was extremely turned on by it, but since my fetish also caused such a problem in my marriage, I had no idea how to approach her with it. Now here's what really gets me when I think about it. After I finished my exercise and before I found out about the kiss, I went on leave to join her.
And we went out with her friends because she wanted me to meet this guy. When I met him I didn't think much of it at the time but when he shook my hand he had a huge grin on his face. Not only that but throughout the night me and him actually became cool with each other. I drank so much that night that at some point it was just me and him talking at the bar. I guess I started to feel guilty about telling my wife to sleep with him when they went out that other night. So he's telling me what a great girl I have and to always treat her right and I'm telling him that I felt bad because I wasn't and even told her to do crazy things but of course I didn't tell him that I wanted her to fuck him.
So now after knowing what happened between them and thinking about that specific situation I feel like a total cuck which gets me super fucking hard because I'm sure he was grinning cause he fucked my wife and he also looked me straight in the eye and was telling me how he was "protecting" her while I was away.
So what's the point of me telling you guys this? Well about two years later, a year after my wife disclosed everything that happened. We were fucking one night and talking dirty and I was telling her how I still want her to get fucked and at some point she asks me, "Do you really want me to?" and I tell her I do and for some reason, I guess we were drinking, but I got the courage to tell her that when she cheated on me with that guy that I was extremely turned on by it.
Then she tells me, "Well that's ptobably just your fetish talking," all the while I notice she's getting wetter and her pussy is gripping me a lot harder. So I tell her that I was serious and that I constantly jerk off thinking about it. And so as she's getting more turned on, I ask her, "Tell me honestly, did you not enjoy fucking him or were you just telling me that at the time?" And I guess being at the peak of her orgasm she tells me she really did enjoy fucking him and that he came a lot more than I did and that he fucked her a lot better than I did.
So I ask her, "Was he bigger?" And she tells me he was probably an inch longer but much thicker and with a huge head. At that point I started cumming harder than I ever did inside of her and she could tell. Then after we laid with each other for a bit she tells me that when she touches herself she thinks about him.
I ask her if she ever did anything else with him and she told me no because she wouldn't want to hurt our marriage. But after that night when we would have sex and I would feel her randomly getting wetter I would whisper "Your thinking about him aren't you?" And she would start yelling yes and tell me how much better he fucked her and even throughout all the times we fucked, that I never fucked her as good, not even once.
So that brings me to now where I see myself getting deeper and deeper into the cuck mindset. It's to the point that I even feel like I would want him to fuck my wife again and even submit to him. I really don't know why, I'm out of the military and I was definitely an alpha male before this experience, I'm still in great shape and look better than this guy but just the fact that he completely owned my wife is incredibly hot.
So at this point Idk what to do. What makes it worse is that I'm sure at some point I'll run into him since I'm out of the military now and back home and I almost feel like I would get instantly hard just knowing he could potentially own my wife. I also think the other reason I'm turned on is because this guy is latino and fucked my half latina wife like she was his.
It's a good ride for sure.